By Daniel Butler
This hysterical choice of tales of tangible crimes devoted by means of clumsy crooks and fumbling felons could have you guffawing out loud at painfully dumb makes an attempt at crime. Illustrated.
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Extra resources for America's Dumbest Criminals
He was arrested and charged with the crime. 25 Don’t Try It Again, Sam In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a blundering, wannabe robber with speech difficulties just couldn’t win for losing. ” Unfortunately, she couldn’t understand a word he said. ” In desperation, Sam turned to a patron and told him to hand over all his money. ” When the patron couldn’t understand him either, Sam got so frustrated that he pulled out his gun. Now they would hear the unmistakable voice of his thirty-eight. Sam pulled the trigger.
In desperation, Sam turned to a patron and told him to hand over all his money. ” When the patron couldn’t understand him either, Sam got so frustrated that he pulled out his gun. Now they would hear the unmistakable voice of his thirty-eight. Sam pulled the trigger. Click. The gun wouldn’t fire. Now Sam grabbed the cash register and began to run. But he didn’t get far—only about three feet. The register was still firmly plugged into the wall, and he quickly ran out of cord. The register was jerked out of Sam’s hands, and he fell.
The speedster didn’t hesitate. ” Martin just nodded, pen in hand. “Then my wife called,” the speeder continued. ” “The man wasn’t joking,” Martin remembers. “And I had to admit I never heard that one before. I let him go. ” 22 Look Out! He’s Got a Turtle and He Knows How to Use It! It was a classic case of love gone wrong in Indiana. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t. In this case, she really did try to let him down easy, but he was distraught. He was fuming as he barreled out of her kitchen door and into the night.
America's Dumbest Criminals by Daniel Butler